Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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