Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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