your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
