the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
