i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
two words: eviction party
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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