When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I want a musical about memes.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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