How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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