Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
