too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
