Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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