it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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