I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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