We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
