Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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