ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
