I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
