It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
