im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
