So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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