He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just want to make out with him forever
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize