Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
