Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
