Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
