So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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