WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
