I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
