i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You've changed since you got that strap on
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