I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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