Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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