good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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