While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
