WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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