The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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