Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
