apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
True college students do jello shots in the library
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
