Bisexual people are plain selfish.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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