A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
