oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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