All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize