his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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