But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize