and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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