Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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