This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
