We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
