And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
