Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
