Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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