Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
