She said her name was "party"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
