Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize