Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
