So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
