The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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