this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Randomize
