last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
