It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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