i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i think im in europe. pls send help
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
