My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
