Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
