oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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