Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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