Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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