Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
