Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
