Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
