I wanna passion pit in your ass
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
