I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
