highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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