the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
