i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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